Even though you might not realize it, you use interpersonal skills every day, even if your job leaves you relatively isolated. Every time you interact with someone in a virtual or in-person setting, you’re using interpersonal skills. You utilize your interpersonal skillset whenever you exchange ideas and thoughts or listen intently.

These interactions can be one-on-one or in group settings; email and chat interactions tap into your interpersonal skills but aren’t quite the same as a face-to-face meeting. If someone asks for help with a complex issue via chat, for example, you can opt to simply not respond for a while as you consider the problem; face-to-face, you’d need to talk the situation through with the other person, requiring a slightly different set of skills.

With all that in mind, let’s break down how you can use interpersonal skills to elevate your career. 

What are interpersonal skills?

If there’s one thing that differentiates interpersonal skills from other soft skills, it’s how effective you are in utilizing them.

Annee Bayeux, Chief Learning Strategist at Degreed, tells Dice: “Interpersonal skills are the skills you need to work effectively and communicate with others. They’re a type of soft skill crucial for us as we navigate an increasingly complex workplace. In the future, not only will we have to work together in human teams, in-person and hybrid/remote, but we will also consider how automation and AI change the team dynamic.”

Interpersonal skills apply to many roles,” Bayeux added, “so they can help an individual adapt to different circumstances. Yet, they can be difficult to build as they cannot be effectively taught in a classroom. They need real-world application to build effectively; therefore, cohort and peer learning programs plus stretch assignments can help someone develop interpersonal skills to the required level.”

Tracey Beveridge, HR Director at Personnel Checks, adds: “In general, if you have a well-liked person within a group, whether that be the workplace, class, social group, or sports team, that person normally possesses good interpersonal skills… Interpersonal skills are usually a big part of what makes a respected team player.

“The key traits of someone with excellent interpersonal skills often revolve around good communication skills. This allows them to effectively engage and interact with their fellow group members or colleagues, usually with empathy and understanding. They typically know how to listen well and be diplomatic regarding decisions or conflict resolution.

“They can normally communicate well across different groups of people, ages, positions within a business, external or internal contacts, and easily build a trusted rapport.”

The following interpersonal skills pop up frequently in job postings for tech positions:

Communication:

• Clear and concise: Explain complex technical concepts to diverse audiences without jargon.
• Active listening: Understand colleagues' needs and perspectives for effective collaboration.
• Written and verbal: Articulate ideas clearly in reports, emails, and presentations, including to those without much tech knowledge.

Collaboration:

• Teamwork: Work effectively with colleagues from different backgrounds to achieve shared goals.
• Conflict resolution: Address disagreements constructively to maintain positive working relationships.
• Delegation and feedback: Share tasks efficiently and provide valuable feedback to team members.

Empathy and emotional intelligence:

• Understanding others' perspectives: Build trust and rapport with colleagues and clients.
• Responding to emotions: De-escalate tense situations and navigate diverse personalities.
• Providing and receiving feedback: Foster open communication and growth within teams.

Adaptability and flexibility:

• Embracing change: Thrive in fast-paced tech environments with evolving priorities.
• Learning new skills: Stay current with technological advancements and adapt to new software/tools.
• Thinking outside the box: Find creative solutions to problems and contribute fresh perspectives.

Leadership:

• Motivating and inspiring others: Drive team morale and commitment to achieving goals.
• Delegating tasks effectively: Empower colleagues and foster ownership of projects.
• Mentorship and guidance: Share knowledge and support the development of others.

Examples and Benefits of Interpersonal Skills

Here are some examples of interpersonal skills from our panel of experts. Let’s dig a little more into these key ones:

Communication: This interpersonal skill conveys information best to different people, ensuring the message is delivered appropriately depending on the recipient. For example, they may speak to a member of a workforce differently from a senior manager or customer.

Teamwork (with a splash of leadership): A person with good interpersonal skills can work comfortably in a team, pull their weight, and be reliable. They will also be able to subtly support and encourage team members to help achieve their goals.

Respect: This is a crucial skill where the person not only gives respect to those around them by listening and supporting others but earns respect by showing that they have empathy and want to help. A person with excellent interpersonal skills can assess situations and deliver constructive feedback successfully as they will have built trust and respect. This means feedback will often be received in a more positive angle rather than having a tone of criticism, creating a more productive environment.

Adaptability: The ability to adapt to changing circumstances and work well with diverse groups of people is an essential interpersonal skill. It involves being flexible, open to new ideas, and embracing change. It’s critical for many tech roles, where things can change extremely quickly depending on tech constraints (or the introduction of a new app, process, or service).

Listening: Not only do you have to be able to communicate effectively, you must be able to listen actively. Listen intently and respond appropriately when someone expresses themselves or shares information.

Using interpersonal skills in your job search

When searching for a job, poor interpersonal skills can undermine the hard work of submitting unique résumés and cover letters to each role you’re interested in.

Often, we allow bias to creep in when we’re interviewing. A recruiter or hiring manager may ask you something you’ve answered dozens of times in other interviews, causing you to “phone in” your answer out of pure fatigue.

Instead, use another interpersonal skill to stand out: empathy. Recruiters have asked the question dozens of times, too, and hope your answer is unique and insightful. Put yourself in their shoes, consider your response, and provide a unique perspective when appropriate.

In an interview, active listening is critical. Try not to allow “trigger words” or phrases to create a mental block wherein you start running through your mind’s cache of canned responses. Listen actively and answer the question as clearly and concisely as possible, offering a unique perspective when possible.

Communication matters, too. If you’re in a technical interview and you’re just stumped, communicate what’s problematic for you. Technical interviews are often more about knowing you can work through an issue than a timed coding trial.

How to Improve Your Interpersonal Skills

Improving your interpersonal skills will take time and effort. Here are three ways you can build interpersonal skills:

• Engage with others more. Practice won’t make you perfect, but it will make you better. Seek out conversations and interactions that can help you practice listening and providing thoughtful responses.
• Observe how good leaders interact. Is there a leader at your company whom everyone admires? This person is well-liked because they have excellent interpersonal skills. Observe them in conversations and group settings to learn what makes them effective.
• Ask for help. If your interpersonal skills aren’t where you’d like them to be, ask a friend or colleague to give you honest feedback on improving. A trusted source with honest insights can make a lot of difference.

Conclusion

You’ll know that you’ve started to master crucial interpersonal skills when others begin to seek your help or insights. Effective interpersonal skills help you build trust with others. The better you become at these skills, the better rapport you’ll have with others, and the more your career will ultimately benefit.